Alive Like Us Read online

  Kai stared at the shadows gathering on the opposite wall, saying nothing.

  Raj’s mouth twitched into a cruel grin. “You’ve got grit, kid. I’ll give you that. If it weren’t for this sheet of paper here, I could make a fine soldier out of you. Well,” he slapped his knees and jumped up. “When I first looked through the wanted sheets, I didn’t find yours. You came this close to sneaking by, didn’t you?” He pinched the air with his fingers. “But then Haven—one of the girls you saved—brought it to me. Bet you wish you would’ve her drown, huh?”

  Kai clenched his jaw. He hadn’t killed anyone except in self-defense since Broken Creek. Even then, he avoided it whenever possible. The weight of death was too heavy a burden.

  “It surprises me—the going rate of life these days. The reward for your sorry ass is only half a years-worth of rations. But then there’s your boss, Hayes,” Raj gripped the bars, swinging forward, his eyes glittering with malice. “I’d be rich enough to start my colony if I sent his head to New Hope.”

  “I already told you—I left the Inferno. I don’t know where he is anymore.”

  Raj considered this with an overexaggerated hike of his brows. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  He shrugged off his coat and hung it on a hook. A key slid into the lock. Kai lurched up, ready to bolt. Smirking, Raj blocked the opening. “Now,” he cracked his knuckles, relishing the moment. “How about I help you remember?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Sanna could not escape through the front door. Her grandparents would be waiting for her, eager to smooth over the ruins of her life with tea and platitudes that would make her want to scream until her voice gave out.

  Her mother—grandmother’s—favorite, it’ll all be better in the morning—was particularly infuriating. And wrong. Her life in Erling was over, and the longer she stayed here, the more she put the people she loved at risk.

  She had to find Iris. She needed answers. And Kai Merrick, despite everything he may have done in the past, was the only person who could help her. She doubted that warrant told the whole story anyway. She’d seen glimmers of good in him, and the past weeks had taught her things were rarely what they seemed.

  The window. That was her way out.

  Throwing on her coat, she locked her bedroom door and headed for it, climbing over her bed. The springs of her mattress whined beneath her as she tried to lift the sash. It was stuck. She wiggled it. The swollen wood rose, inch by inch and a damp, cold wind blew in, running its icy fingers through her hair. Sanna shivered. Waves crashed against the rocky shore below, promising another storm to come.

  Bluish clouds slid across the sky, plunging the world below into darkness. She knew the drop was steep—a full two stories—but if she dangled from the windowsill, perhaps she could make it.

  She was halfway through the window when the clouds finally slid past and moonlight flooded the narrow backyard below. Her stomach reeled. On second thought, maybe jumping out of the window wasn’t such a good idea.

  Get a hold of yourself. There had to be a better way down. She spotted the quilt on her bed and yanked it off, then her sheets, and tied them all together into a makeshift rope. Anchoring one end on the brass headboard, she unfurled the rest out the window. It didn’t reach the ground, but it was close enough. More clouds rolled in from the lake. Grateful for the darkness, she climbed through the window and clutched the sill.

  You can do this. She braced her feet against the wooden siding and grabbed hold of the rope with both hands, inching down. A loud screech emanated from her room. She winced, imagining the bedframe scarping the floor. The noise stopped. The bed must be braced on something. She looked down, half expecting Erling’s entire militia to be gathered below. Nope.

  And then the rope went slack.

  She plummeted to the earth, her stomach flying into her throat. The rope snapped tight, and she smacked against the wooden siding.

  “Have you lost your mind?” Haven whispered from above. “What do you think you’re doing? You could’ve impaled yourself on that fence.”

  Haven was right. The picket fence lining the backyard was closer to the house than she’d thought, and beyond was the rocky cliff that descended deep into the lake. She looked up, and found Haven glaring down at her, the makeshift rope held tight in her hands. “How’d you get in? The door was locked.”

  “As if...you could call that...a lock,” Haven said through gritted teeth. “Hurry, I can’t hold much longer.”

  Sanna climbed down the rest of the way and let go, landing in a deep squat. She glared at Haven. “I can’t believe you ratted Kai out. I thought we were friends.”

  “We are. That’s why I told. Do you really want another repeat of Nico?”

  “Kai’s met someone like me. She...took care of me as baby. She knew my mother. I have to meet her.”

  “Are you sure he’s not lying?”

  “No,” Sanna admitted. “But he knew her name. Iris. My mom—grandmother—just told me about her. I have to find out why I’m like this.”

  “If anyone can figure out what you are, it’s Dr. Larson. She’s been trying to for years.”

  “Years?” The realization struck Sanna like a bullet. “You mean you knew when I left for that mission?”

  “We didn’t think it had any affect—”

  “They died. All of them. Because of me.” Sanna gasped, her hand flying to her mouth as the horror dawned. “Everyone is right. I am cursed.”

  “There was no proof you had any affect—”

  “I watched my friends die. They knew something was wrong. That I was somehow a part of it. I thought they were just scared. Desperate. But they were right. And you or Anne could’ve prevented it.” Shock iced her viens, mixing with a terrifying rage that made her whole-body tremble.

  “We didn’t know. We still don’t. It could’ve been a coincidence.”

  “Stay away from me,” Sanna backed away. “And if you go after Kai again, I swear you’ll wish you’d been on that mission too.”

  Spinning around, she broke into a sprint so fast her feet flew across the snow. She didn’t bother hiding, in fact, she longed for someone to try and stop her. For something to break and smash and shatter into a million pieces. Just like her life.

  A cramp twisted her side as she neared the church. Doubling over, she wrapped her arms tight around her middle as a dry sob ripped from her throat. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.

  She’d led her friends straight into a slaughter. All four of them, gone in a single gruesome day, leaving behind broken families that could never be made whole.

  And it was her fault. All of it.

  She had to leave before she hurt anyone else.

  Swallowing her tears, she straightened and set her shoulders. The church’s arched door loomed in front of her. Once upon a time, it had been covered in a red lacquer. Only tiny rivulets remained of its original color, like veins etched across the worn surface. She climbed the steps and squeezed the handle, the cold metal burning her bare hand. The heavy door swung open, revealing an empty, shadowed narthex.

  She held her breath and entered. To her left was the sanctuary, where the banquet had been held last night, though any sign of revelry was long gone. Now, rusty folding chairs crowded the space, all facing a raised altar and a large, stained glass window whose mere survival was a testament of divine intervention.

  At the moment, the window was a giant, obsidian jigsaw puzzle but Sanna knew at dawn, the entire sanctuary would be bathed in jewel-toned light.

  She headed down a narrow hallway which ended at the minister’s office. Though the woman had returned to New Hope years ago, the stench of the incense she’d continually burned to ward off the spirits lingered. Sanna hesitated outside the door and noticed the amber glow underneath. There must be a fire in the hearth—was someone inside?

  The door was unlocked. She held her breath and nudged it open, peering into the small room. It was empty. She entered, creeping along the sto
ne wall until she got to the narrow basement stairs next to the fireplace.

  This was it. Once she went down those steps, there was no going back. She’d be breaking two laws tonight, aiding a prisoner and assaulting whoever guarded him. Both were capital offenses. She could end up dying along with Kai, if she got caught.

  But without him, she’d never know the truth about her parents, or herself.

  She sucked in a trembling breath and descended the exposed steps. There was a pool of light at the bottom, as if a torch blazed somewhere below. The wood creaked beneath her boot. She cringed. The source of light jumped and moved.

  “Who’s there?” Raj’s familiar voice resonated off the stone walls. His heavy footsteps drew closer. “I hear you rattling about. Leave now or face the consequences.”

  Sanna crouched against the wall. She prayed the shadows would hide her. At the base of the stairs, Raj’s bulky form appeared, a torch illuminating his patchwork coat.

  “I’d think twice before crossing this bridge.” He bellowed.

  Sanna didn’t dare breathe. She pressed her spine further into the wall and kept her head bent low. Don’t come up. Don’t come up.

  “H-hey, is that all you’ve got?” Kai whispered; his voice hoarse.

  “Shut up!” Raj glared at him.

  Now. She leapt down the stairs, tackling Raj from behind. She threw him against the wall. The torch extinguished, cloaking them in darkness. Silver flashed. She knocked the blade out of his grasp. Raj cursed, his knife clattering to the floor.

  Sanna kicked the side of his knees and they tumbled to the floor. She hooked the crux of her elbow around his neck and squeezed.

  Raj thrashed in her grasp, growling like a bear. He clawed at her arm with one hand and blindly jabbed the air near her ears with the other.

  Sanna kept her mouth shut and wrapped her legs around him, holding firm. Minutes inched by, painfully slow, and at last he stilled.

  She released, not wanting to kill him, and realized she was pinned by his weight. She braced her hands on his shoulders and pushed, grunting from the effort. Raj’s massive body finally shifted over, and she wriggled out.

  He groaned. Sanna stumbled back and recovered, slipping the dagger from her waist. The giant man rolled onto his knees and shook his head like a dazed bull. Moonlight gleamed off of his dark eyes.

  He charged, surprisingly fast, and rammed Sanna into the wall, knocking the knife from her hand. Her vision blurred. He grabbed her neck, ready to crush her into submission, but she averted, diving under his arm. She kicked his ribs, he staggered to the side, gasping. Her foot nudged the knife she’d dropped. She picked it up and advanced. Before he could recover she grabbed his braid and wrenched his head back, pressing the blade into his kidney. He stiffened, likely recognizing the move as one he’d taught her.

  “Over here,” Kai urged.

  Sanna half-stumbled, half-dragged Raj over to the cell. He reared as

  they got closer; his massive body nearly breaking free from her grasp. She rammed his forehead into the iron bars on pure instinct. His body sagged to the ground.

  Fear iced her veins. Had she killed him? She checked for a pulse and felt instant relief. He was alive. Thank God

  She pulled the ring of keys off Raj’s belt and tossed them to Kai. He unlocked the door and Raj crumpled into the cell. Sanna climbed over him and took hold of his thick wrists, pulling him in the rest of the way. Guilt soured her stomach at the dark blood streaking across his temple.

  He was her boss. Her mentor. And she’d knocked him unconscious.

  “Don’t worry. He’ll live.” Kai appeared beside her, his face nearly obscured beneath the lumpy layers of swollen tissue and dried blood. The gruesome evidence of her Raj’s brutality. “Unfortunately.”

  Her gaze caught on the bulging knot of flesh above Kai’s left eye. “What happened?”

  “He wanted me to turn on Hayes, the leader of the Inferno.” Kai shrugged, wincing. “I also tend to bring out the best in people.”

  Raj groaned, startling them both.

  “Let’s get out of here.” Sanna helped Kai into his coat and looped his arm around her neck. They hobbled out of the cell, which Kai locked with shaking fingers.

  He’s in no condition to travel. She had to find a place to hide him before Raj regained consciousness and began to bellow. Then the whole town would be alerted and out looking for him.

  They climbed the stairs, shuffled through the narthex and out the front door. Sanna took in a grateful breath. The cold, clean air was welcome after the musty quarters of the church. Dawn burned a rosy glow to East, but the rest of the sky was dark indigo.

  She peered out onto the street. Three people tumbled out of the nearby tavern and staggered towards them, swaying to the rhythm of their latest drunken ballad. Sanna yanked Kai back into the church and waited. She didn’t realize her dagger clasped in her hand until after the trio’s jaunty tune had faded. She looked down at the lethal blade, stunned, and wondered if she actually would have attacked the unarmed villagers.

  She poked her head out of the doorway and looked both ways. The street was deserted.

  “Okay. We’re good.” She gripped Kai’s wrist.

  He pulled her into the darkness, his lips sealing over hers. The kiss was soft. Brief. And shocked Sanna straight to her core. “What was that for?”

  “When I was down there,” Kai whispered, his breath warming her ear, “I told myself if I lived, I’d kiss the first pretty girl I saw.”

  A blush warmed her cheeks. “I’m-I’m glad you’re okay but... you really shouldn’t. I could be...contagious.”

  Doubt flickered across Kai’s face, then cleared. “Theo said your blood wasn’t Infected. He may be an arrogant, self-righteous jerk, but I’d like to think he got at least that part right.”

  He kept hold of her hand and a pleasing, tender warmth from his grasp spread up her arm. “I can’t believe I got out,” he shook his head. “I thought I was done for sure.”

  The thought of what could have happened terrified her. “We have to leave. Now. It’s too dangerous for you to stay here.”

  Somewhere a screen door opened and shut. Dawn was breaking, and soon workers would flood the streets.

  “C’mon,” Sanna said, climbing down the steps. “You’ll be safe at the clinic, I think. Theo can look over your wounds while I’ll get some supplies.”

  “Great,” Kai said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “I can’t wait to be thrown at his feet. He’ll probably finish what Ivan started.”

  Sanna drew up her hood. More and more people were leaving their homes.

  “Make sure your hair is covered,” Kai whispered gruffly. “It’s...noticeable. Anyone who sees it would know it was you.”

  Sanna stuffed the end of her braid into her coat, his words and the brief kiss they’d shared still warming her. They headed for the clinic, sneaking along the edges of buildings and diving into allies whenever a door opened unexpectedly. When they got to a narrow bottleneck leading to the clinic, the sun was already peeking over the horizon behind them. The guard would be in the process of changing, which meant Kai could sneak in undetected.

  A familiar yap echoed in the alley. Frankie.

  Kai turned in time for an orange and white blur to leap into his arms. He grimaced as Frankie laved his chin, growing more excited with each swipe. A long leather lead trailed from his collar, gnawed through on one end.

  Kai tilted his head away from Frankie’s excited kisses. “Hey, hey, Frankie! So, you escaped, huh? You can’t keep a Merrick down for long, eh?”

  Frankie wriggled out of his grasp and landed in the snow. He whipped around, and crouched in a play-bow, his fluffy tail waving.

  Kai laughed, a rich melodic sound that pierced through Sanna’s inner gloom. “You’ve got your spirits up, huh? Is it because you know she’s coming with us?”

  He shot Sanna a sidelong glance, raising a dark eyebrow. Frankie pranced forward, butting Kai in the stomac
h. He doubled over.

  Sanna helped him rise. “Quit fooling around. You almost died.”

  “Ah, this is nothing,” Kai said as she looped his arm over her shoulder. “Besides, why live if you can’t smell the roses?”

  Sanna looked at him, utterly baffled. Then she remembered the thick scars on his forearms. This wasn’t the first time Kai had been tortured. He’d escaped then, too.

  He winked at her, which flustered her all the more. She refocused on the path ahead. They were nearly to Theo’s now. To safety. The day guard hadn’t arrived yet, and the gate was left open—a punishable offense. As they crossed the courtyard, Kai stumbled and groaned when she caught him. He was hurt more than he was letting on, all thanks to Raj’s greed. No matter what happened, she’d find a way to get him out of here.

  Even if it cost her life. Or her home.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  “Are you sure about this?” Kai’s ribs ached as they hobbled up the steps to Theo’s clinic. Even with Sanna taking most of his weight, he could barely make it. Frankie scampered up, oblivious to his master’s agony.

  “Theo’s an old friend. I trust him,” Sanna said, her words transforming into clouds of vapor in the cold. “Besides, you need help.”

  “What makes you say that?” Kai grinned despite the ache in his jaw. Once on the porch, he dropped his arm from her shoulders and leaned heavily on the railing. He had no idea how he looked, but figured it was somewhere between a bloody pulp and ground meat formed into a human.

  Sanna raised her knuckles to the door.

  “He’s not going to turn me in, is he?” Kai asked, shifting his weight off the railing. If he had to see Theo Martin again, he’d sure as hell be standing on his own feet.

  She paused, her lips thinning, then knocked anyway. Kai didn’t care for her hesitation.

  He glanced over his shoulder, wondering if he could dive off the porch before the door opened. Then he could make a run—or limp—for one of those abandoned buildings he’d seen on the main street.