Alive Like Us Read online

  Zane smirked. “They’d shoot me onsite.”

  “Eh,” Kai shrugged. “I suppose there’s a fifty-fifty chance. They did just lose their home, though, which has a way of lowering standards. I just thought you might like to make a bit of money, that’s all. It’s better than rotting away in this treehouse, waiting for your people to show up again.”

  A thought struck Sanna. She hurried over to the table and scribbled down quick notes to her grandmother and Haven saying that she was fine and hoped to reunite in either Sorenson or New Hope as soon as her meeting with Iris was over.

  “Could you deliver these for me?” She passed Zane the folded notes. “One’s for Anne Erling, and the other one is for Haven. I guess I don’t know her last name.”

  Zane tucked the letters into his pocket. “I haven’t said I was going.”

  Sanna frowned. “I guess I figured you’d want to see her again.”

  “Who? I don’t know either of those people.”

  “Really? You’ve already met Haven.” She pointed to a yellowed sketch partially covered by a landscape. The young girl’s heart-shaped face was unmistakably Haven, from her downturned eyes, to her full lips and luxurious mess of dark curls. Her bold, haughty gaze dared the viewer to approach and promised a fight if he did. She must’ve made an impression on Zane, since her portrait was one of the few with color— her irises were shaded in a mix of gold and emerald.

  Zane studied the sketch. “You said her name is Haven? What was she doing in Erling?”

  “She was—is—a nurse. She’s lived with my family for the past five years.”

  “Really?” A genuine smile broke across his face. Beneath his grisly tattoos he was actually quite handsome. “I’m glad. I didn’t think it’d turn out that way for her.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She was called Amber when I met her—a fake name, I’m sure. She was being auctioned at a flesh market where I was acting as some rich guy’s bodyguard. I gotta say,” Zane shook his head, still looking at the image, “after all the trouble she caused, I would’ve never pictured her becoming something as docile as a nurse.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Hiking through the Deadlands was its own special kind of misery, one that Kai was eager to leave behind. Out here, he was the weakest animal in the herd. An easy target.

  He glanced over his shoulder. Sanna had fallen behind. She seemed fully recovered from her ordeal outside Erling’s gate and now her endurance was the stuff of envy. While he struggled through the thick, icy stew of mud and snow, she simply glided through it. Meanwhile, Frankie orbited them, pausing to bury his nose in the powder and snort.

  They had spent the day heading south. The air was crisp with the scent of pine, and the snow sparkled beneath the late afternoon sun. Kai listened for the river with black rocks that Iris said would lead them to her home. If his calculations were right, they should be coming up on the river at any moment, which meant Iris’s house was less than two days away. The promise of seeing Esme again kept him moving, even though his toes were like ice cubes and his face felt tight and wind burnt.

  “Don’t you think this is weird?” Sanna joined him. “Zane said the Infected were thick over here, but I don’t sense a single one.”

  “They’ve probably moved on to Cerise’s encampment. He mentioned it was nearby, and the Infected won’t hang around a place if there’s nothing to eat.”

  “I can’t imagine setting up camp in the middle of the forest. How would you defend yourself?”

  “Cerise’s group travels in metal trailers. They can circle them up and create their own barriers wherever they please.”

  Sanna shot him a curious glance. “So, you’ve met her?”

  “Not...formally.”

  “Ah.” Her brows inched up and she looked away. “I see. Let’s hope we don’t run into her then.”

  Her poor assumption of him rankled. “Cerise calls herself a witch who can cure the infection, but all she does is take advantage of desperate people. I don’t regret stealing from her.”

  “So, you tried her cure on your sister?”

  “It made Esme puke for days. It could’ve killed a younger kid, or an old per

  son.” There was no telling how many people Cerise had poisoned over the years, and the thought of it made his blood boil all over again. He decided to change the subject. “You and Zane were pretty friendly this morning. I thought you guys wanted to kill each other.”

  “I guess we have a truce. He misses Nico a lot, I think, and it helped him to know I haven’t forgotten about him. I still can’t believe he met Haven at a flesh market, though. She never mentioned anything about it.”

  “She probably wanted to forget it ever happened. Those who end up in places like that are either orphans or people driven from their clans for one reason or another. Sometimes they’re captured and forced to participate. The work they’re forced to do is dangerous or degrading or both.”

  A breeze ruffled through Kai’s hair, carrying with it the faint chuckle of water over rocks. They were getting closer. He increased his speed, overtaking the next rocky ridge in a few long strides.

  “Then what was my grandmother doing in a place like that? There’s no way she’d be involved in something so awful,” Sanna said, then added, unsure, “at least, I don’t think so. She lied about my parents for so many years. I suppose she could’ve lied about other stuff as well.”

  He maneuvered around a large boulder. “Markets are often good sources of information. People from all walks of life show up. Maybe she was trying to figure out who your dad was. Or where Iris lived.”

  “I’ve been meaning to ask you...how well do you know Iris?”

  “Not very. I spent a few days waiting out a snowstorm at her place, before coming after you.”

  “Zane said the whole thing sounded like a trap.”

  Kai froze mid step. To be fair, he’d considered the possibility multiple times. “If she wanted you dead, then why would she bother taking you to Anne in the first place?”

  “Maybe she didn’t think I’d be a threat to her, but then I changed as I grew up. Now she wants me dead, like the Voice.”

  “Naw,” Kai shook his head. “Iris isn’t that sentimental. If she saw you in that way, she would’ve killed you. I’m sure of it. She’s a bit like Theo. Cold. Methodical. Not really big on emotions.”

  Sanna kept her expression smooth, but Kai sensed something still troubled her. Branches snapped in the distance. He jumped, nocking an arrow out of habit, and took aim.

  “It’s Frankie.”

  Maybe she really can sense them now. Kai lowered his bow, and they continued on in brittle silence. A hearty gust knifed through the worn seams of his coat, chilling him. His stomach was so empty it ached. After all these years, hunger still got to him. He envisioned the food he’d bought from Zane; oats, cheese, some dried meat wrapped in a rag. Hopefully, they’d run across some game as well and have a proper feast tonight.

  Frankie bounded up from a ditch and trotted alongside Kai, his tail swishing like an orange flag. He paused; his focus glued to a scrubby cluster of bushes draped in white. Kai drew back his arrow again and took aim.

  The dog lunged. The branches shook, sending clumps of snow to the ground. Kai waited, dread rising within him. What if the dog had landed in the jaws of an Infected?

  Frankie whined.

  Kai snapped into action, ready to rip out the whole scraggly thicket if it meant saving that stupid mutt. He had to be the biggest idiot in the Deadlands.

  A rabbit exploded out from the wintry depths, a ball of supercharged fluff. Kai skidded to a stop and watched as Frankie chased after it, his paws rucking up a cloud of shimmering snow.

  Kai drew back his arrow and aimed at the ricocheting rabbit, already tasting the succulent meat. He was about to loose when Frankie appeared in his line of sight. Kai jerked the bow to the left at the last possible moment, his arrow flying uselessly through the forest. He swallowed
a curse.

  “You never know,” Sanna said. “He might catch it.”

  “Fat chance,” Kai trudged through the snow, feeling oddly miserable. “We’d better keep moving.”

  They hiked a steep hill next, forcing Kai to trade his bow for an ice pick while Sanna navigated the slippery surface with uncanny ease.

  “What about Frankie?” she asked as they neared the summit, not even out of breath.

  “The mutt’s on his own.” Kai eyed a thick tree root curling above him. He grabbed hold of it and climbed the final ridge. “He’ll follow us. He always does.”

  Thick, snow-frosted forest surrounded them, undulating over hills and valleys that extended into Canada. The brilliant blue of Lake Superior peeked through the dense canopy. As long as they kept the lake to their left by heading south, they’d eventually hit the river.

  Sanna stopped beside him and took in the view. Her skin was flushed a pale pink from the climb and her ponytail glinted in the sun like molten gold. She caught his stare, and his pluse quickened. “We should, uh, keep our guard up as we near the river. The Infected like to gather around water, even if they hate it.”

  She smiled. “I know.”

  “Okay, then.” He started down the rocky slope, putting space between them. The gurgle of water grew louder with each step, until a spectacular series of waterfalls appeared, gushing over ebony boulders like liquid silver. The river weaved through the woods in a silky black ribbon and the snow dusting the banks and trees glittered in the bright winter sun. Kai inhaled a deep, clean breath, drinking in the scenery around him. It was like an ice-glazed fairyland.

  “You like it?” Kai asked the moment Sanna caught up to him. He hated how much he longed for the answer.

  “We’ve crossed outside Erling’s territory, right?”

  “Yeah. Zane’s watchtower was on the boarder.”

  She shook her head, her expression a mix of wonder and disbelief. “This is so beautiful, and it’s been here all this time. I know it’s crazy, but I’m kind of envious of you.”

  He arched his brow. Now that was a first.

  “I mean, you’ve been all over, right? I bet you’ve seen all kinds of places like this.” The words spilling out in a giddy rush. “You’re so...free.”

  Free. The word tasted sour. If freedom meant living a life of inescapable danger, in a world that had robbed him of his childhood, his family, and his future, then he’d gladly trade places with her.

  “Sorry.” Worry tinged her voice. “I didn’t mean it like that. I know you’ve been through a lot, and I’m lucky to have grown up in a colony, but...I’ve been thinking that if I’d only left with you sooner, or never even lived in Erling at all, how things might be different. Now everything is gone.”

  She looked so lost, that Kai found himself desperate to help her, even if it meant sharing something he’d kept hidden for a long, long time.

  “You know,” he started, gruffly. “I thought my world was over when I left New Hope. And it was. I doubt I’ll ever have fancy clothes, or more food than I could eat again—man, was I soft. One thing I learned, though, was that a home isn’t a building or a place, it’s the people you care about. As long as you have someone who loves you, you have a home. Erling might be gone, for now, but your grandmother and Haven are still alive, which means you’ll always have somewhere to come home to.”

  A small smile broke across Sanna’s miserable expression. It was small and serious and didn’t quite banish the sadness from her eyes, but the sight of it made Kai feel oddly accomplished. “That’s terribly sweet for a member of the Inferno. I’m surprised they ever let you join in the first place.”

  A rare laugh took him by surprise. “I guess I was a goner from the start.”

  As they continued upstream in companionable silence, Kai recognized the strange feeling fluttering inside his chest. Hope.

  SANNA WOULD’VE NEVER guessed Kai could be so sentimental. The way he’d talked about home and relationships warmed her heart, especially since he seemed to have so little of both. It also explained his devotion to his sister. She wondered if Esme knew how much her brother cared for her, or the lengths he was willing to go just to keep her safe. She doubted it. She’d taken her own grandfather’s love for granted, until he was gone. Now each morning she awoke with an aching hole in her heart and a thousand words she wished she could say to him, most of which began with “I love you.”

  But some things could only be endured, not changed, which left her to focus on the days ahead. She cast Kai a sidelong glance as they hiked the rocky path leading to the first waterfall. “So what’s your plan? After all this is over?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far in advance.”

  “Liar.”

  He tripped, his arms flailing, but recovered. “What are you talking about?”

  She wondered what got him so rattled. “You’re the kind of person that always has a plan. Like Haven.”

  Kai swallowed. “I, uh, guess I was thinking we’d stick around. For a while.”

  “Anywhere in particular?”

  “I was thinking I’d scop up some of the large unclean settlements. See if there’s someplace decent for Esme and I where the Inferno wouldn’t find us.” Kai bounded over a massive log blocking their path and faced her. Their gazes caught. His lips quirked into a half-smile and he offered his hand in a mocking flourish. She stared at it, awareness sizzling down her spine. It was as if a schism had opened between them.

  She was falling for him. This strange boy with his sharp edges and soft heart. Despite all that had happened, she knew it with the same crystal clarity she now sensed the Infected.

  But she didn’t want a relationship—it would only end in death and heartache as it had with Nico.

  And yet, her body was changing, she was changing. Everyday she woke up feeling slightly different. Less human. One day her heart might shrivel like an unused limb, and she’d become a husk devoid of all emotion. Like the Infected. This could be her last chance of having a human relationship. Of falling in love.

  She wanted the next few days and weeks to be filled with memories that could keep her warm long once their feelings dimmed. Long after she became whatever monster was her destiny and lost all human connection.

  It was an easy choice.

  She slipped her hand in his. He lifted her with ease, her body pressing against his own. Even through the layers of leather and wool she felt the heat of his skin. The sound of the rushing river filled her ears, or perhaps that was her own blood coursing through her veins in hot anticipation. The desire to kiss him, to feel his calloused fingers trace her jaw was a sweet, keening ache. She was tinder, longing for a match. And he was the spark that she needed.

  He grinned, broadly, and held her hand tight as they continued their climb, faster than before. They reached the third waterfall, small and elegant, and headed for the bank, laughing when their feet skidded beneath them. Kai reached the bottom first and became a wall that stopped her from sliding right into the glimmering water.

  His hands gripped her upper arms, steadying her. He was going to kiss her. Or maybe, she’d kiss him. Either way, she wanted it. Needed it. The air between them vanished. His breath warmed her lips.

  Infected. Their presence was like a frost forming across her skin, chilling her to the bone.

  She pulled away as Frankie darted out from the trees up ahead and raced to the river, using a fallen tree to cross it. His long coat was tangled with so many leaves and twigs he looked more like a forest creature than a dog. A small child slid down the bank and followed him, no more than ten and dressed in a muddy sweatshirt and ripped jeans. His hood was pulled over his head, hiding his face. He slipped on the log, one sneaker plunging into the icy water, then recovered, disappearing into the forest on the other side.

  “Something’s chasing him.” Sanna slipped the axe from her belt. “Something big.”

  Branches cracked in the distance. The sound grew louder until th
e very ground shook beneath their feet. An Infected emerged from the bushes, crawling out of the forest like a giant, fleshy insect. He skittered to the riverbank. His head was sunken into his shoulders, making observation difficult, so his whole body moved to the right, then left as he sniffed the area, searching for the boy. He snarled in Sanna and Kai’s direction, his small red mouth stuffed with razor-sharp teeth, then squatted low and bounded across the rushing water. He climbed up the other bank and disappeared into the forest.

  What’s a matter, Sanna? Can’t come out and plaaaaay? The voice whispered in her ear. That mutant Infected—could it be the physical manifestation of the voice? Sanna lunged forward, but Kai blocked her path. “This isn’t our fight.”

  She dodged him, vaulting onto the fallen tree and sprinting across. Kai called after her, but she kept going, determined to face the monster that had killed her grandfather and destroyed her home.

  She paused on top of the bank, scanning the forest. She spotted the kid weaving through the trees up ahead, using their trunks as split-second shields from the Infected as every child in Erling learned to do. The creature hounded after him, forging a wide swath through the snow.

  “Sanna!” Kai shouted from the other side of the creek. “It could be a trap.”

  “I have to try,” Sanna whispered to herself, thinking of her grandfather’s burning corpse. The bodies littering Erling’s streets. She followed the Infected’s path. If she was fast enough; she might even save the child. Or at least shorten his misery.

  She spotted the boy cowering at the base of a small ravine. An ancient tree clung to the edge above him, its gnarled roots forming a prison-like.

  The Infected neared him, globs of saliva dripping from his mouth. His spine was twisted, and the skin that stretched over those jagged ridges was a dull, ashen gray.

  Sanna chucked off her backpack and jumped on top of him, burying her axe into that ridge. He spun, throwing her off. She recovered, slipping the dagger from her boot. Her heart raced. She felt the power flooding her veins, heady and wonderful.